Intentionally ambiguous blog #2

I have done one of theses in the past, for a completely unrelated reason. I however learned from that experience that putting random thoughts into vague and misleading words and phrases can ironically clear up my own thoughts.

so without further adieu..... except for this line

Have you ever done something that you realized was incredibly stupid at the same time that you realized you were probably going to do it again...

That moment when both the devil and angel on your shoulder are in agreement is the worst. Logic steps up and says thats retarded, but he dosent even get a shoulder to stand on so who ever listens to that guy?

so anyways that happened, or rather, I did that... not sure if I was the actor or the actie...there is no red line under actie but im not sure if it is the word I wanted or not.

Back on track I may have made a huge mistake that is really not that big of a deal but actually telling anyone would make it a big deal if that makes any sense, and I am pretty sure it didn't.

On another indistinct point I have a non-metaphorical friend that may have an issue but I am at a loss to both the verification of anomalies and the explication of said indeterminate abnormalities.

If any of the above mess hits you with some words of equally enigmatic words of wisdom I would love to hear them otherwise ignore this post as none of it will ever be explained.

Creepypasta

Bored at work I began reading online stories, and I quickly found that the best are the stories intended to scare. While I'm not a believer in the ghosts and vengeful spirits per-say, I appreciate, and like any honest human being, have my share of unexplained events. So here's a true story I've recanted a thousand times but never written down..

My mom drives the bus for a small rural-ish elementary school. When I was in said school I would accompany her to the pre-sun every day. I normally tried to sleep in the car until her early morn routine was done and the bus route began. One day I was waking up absentmindedly staring at some recently planted trees swaying in the breeze. Slowly gaining consciousness I realized that only one tree was moving, rubbing my eyes a small man came into focus his right arm shaking the tiny sapling.

I locked and held eye contact with the man in dark colors and a darker ball cap until the bus horn honked and I glanced away. Looking back the crown of the tree was broken off and the man was gone. A few days later the incident shrugged off as a half remembered dream, I was in the back of the bus returning from our first and furthest pickup. A large black dog was chasing us, after a few seconds the dog was obviously gaining on the bus traveling at least 50 mph. Until the dog got about three car lengths away I didn't notice the impossible proportions. We began to slow for a turn and it got within ten feet of the bus (still in the field to our right) and was clearly no dog.

Until a shed was blocking it's path and the thing stood on it's hind legs to leap over did I recognize the man who broke the tree. The bus turned left and the man ran past on all fours.

Visibly shaken as I got into my fifth grade class I told a few friends, during lunch the story was traded around again and by recess (which was inside due to rain) the entire class had heard some version.

After I retold it with everyone listening at least four others volunteered stories of personal encounters. One confirmed seeing the "dog" chasing the bus and leaping the shed.

Over my middle and high school years I retold all of the stories I had witnessed and others had told me. It was a hit at every halloween party or camping trip but never with everyone listening.

Without fail every time I tell this story to someone who grew up in my hometown or at some point attended my elementary school they are extremely disturbed by it. Most pull me aside and ask for a description some offer another encounter story and all are terrified by this man.

Whether he's standing in an empty field scaring horses, stalking through an alleyway to stare through back windows, or getting shot and then fleeing a locked house the description is always the same. A small man 5 foot 7 or 8, Wearing dark jeans, and a dark or black shirt and black hat normally a ball cap turned backwards but at least twice a black cowboy hat (seen from afar), with dull yellow eyes, when you finally notice him as something out of the ordinary you are locked into eye contact until a third party breaks your concentration, in all the encounters no one can remember any facial features other than the eyes.

Game of Thrones

I recently completed A Dance of Dragons and wish to articulate my theory that a song of ice and fire is the greatest work of fiction in our generation

In terms of depth of character, and as a result character attachment; I'm positive that if the man who plays Tyrion Lanister were to be in my immediate presence I would hyperventilate and possibly worship him when I came to, and Arya is the only name I would ever name a daughter.

As for immersion; I just shivered in 113 degree Oklahoman heat while reading the final chapters of DoD ( what an unfortunate acronym).

Plot is almost unmentionable because it us so effortlessly perfect every word on every page is a surprise. I normally pride myself on guessing endings or plot points And as I am so overly saturated with all forms of media I am nearly always correct, with GOT (again sad acronyms) I cannot even form a rational guess it is almost completely original.

And of corse the television adaptation

Only If James Earl jones, Liam neesum, and Morgan Freeman, were genetically combined and then read the books outloud while everyone was on a low dose Iv of LSD so they thought god was telling them humanity's history

so here I set, winter has fallen I'm bundled up and ready for the long hall... Whenever the next book gets published

Opportunity

I just got back from the best trip of my life so far...

At times I could have killed some of my travel companions as I'm sure they came close to murdering me. I saw things I've read and dreamed about. I missed people and communication, I got lost, found, hidden, stalked, checked out, confused, and appalled. Now I'm back and I realize there's a lot more I got to do that wasn't on the itinerary.

I'm a planner, not grand schemes but minute details, before I sleep every night I outline my next day. I act out important conversations and silently cheat myself when I accurately predict the other persons statements. But all of these things I accomplished were unplanned, even hough I would've if I could have.

"I'll take first watch"
I got to say and mean this in the fantastical sense of I'll watch u and Ur stuff to make sure we don't get robed or killed"

Learning limits
I now know that I have limits on how long I can be without personal time, without sleep, with certain people, etc... (etc covers a lot ask me about it later)

Defining hatred
This one sounds bad, and I guess it is in almost all ways but this trip has fully established the kind of people I do and do not like and im pretty sure thats a good thing everyone should no what type of person I don't like.

Finally

Long distance relationships
They can work for short amounts of time, especially if you know the exact amount of time you will be apart

So theres my other obligatory travel post, I will find some other thing to post on at some point...

Messages

These are messages to those in my past present and future.

Things I wish I could have, wish I would, wish I will say.

I hate you, not jokingly not out of frustration but actual to the marrow, teeth gnashingly painful hatred.

I love you, I cannot express my need for you in my ability to function, because I don't understand it. You do not complete me, you are me I find my identity through you.

You ruined me, there was a time when I needed your love your direction and you did nothing you failed me.

We could have been something genius me and you were supposed to be something special and it's my fault we aren't

You are nothing more than an acquaintance, I'm not sure why you think we are so close, get far far away from me.

I need you in a way I didn't know was possible, you are my truth my challenge and my safety net you are the person that makes me be me I want/need you forever


Life is complicated messy and stupid, I'm reminded of the words to a hymn "this world is not my own I'm just a passing through" this isn't where I belong therefore is this the real me?

I believe that who you chose to love, who you chose to spend time with, says more about who you are than who you chose to portray yourself as.

Chances are if your reading this I may have chosen you. You may be part of my personality definition, but chances are about equal that you are someone I rejected...

Ps. if you think one of the messages are for you, I'm not telling

Pps. I'm writing The 900 Man because no one commented on my last post it'll be up at the end of the week

So...

I can't sleep, which makes no sense because as of now I've been up more than 24 hrs with only a few quick moments of dosing off on a train and an energy drink at 6 this morning.

I'm laying here reading my old blog posts and cracked articles missing the ability to turn on my tv or Netflix, and I realize I haven't written anything in weeks. I've been surrounded by some of the most indspiring places on the planet and I've produced nothing.

So I will tell you what I'm going to write and hopefully that will make me actually do it. But as I just yawned which means I may have broken my insomnia! I'll just list some titles comment saying which u wanna hear first...

The 900 man
Agate
Inspiring lies
How I got here

Goodnight

Relationships

So there are a few to many fake and real named relationships (named being something other than friend) so I'm writing them all down cause I'm getting confused. If your one of these and you named yourself I hate you if you didn't then I hate whoever did...

I apparently have a... (some of these are real)

Girlfriend
Wife
Fiancé
Boyfriend
Extra sister
Imaginary friends
Real siblings
Extra parents
Another extra sister
Okay I think there are four fake sisters total
And an extra brother

List

Following is a list of things that are rarely if ever advisable but are especially hazardous while in close quarters with a small group in a foreign country. Bear in mind that all of these happened and that many were deemed to scandalous to post.

So in no particular order 10 things never to do based on our example

1. accidentally and irreversibly rewrite the lyrics to a popular worship song.

2. Learn the wrong lyrics to only "lovely ladies" after seeing Les Miserables with small children

3. Swim in a mountain lake when it is NEAR 50 degrees outside

4. Confront your sponsors, asking if they are pregnant

5. Play angry birds during philharmonic concert attended by more than 100 thousand people

6. Write the word ugly on an american flag and give it as a negative reward for the worst person each day

7. Photograph random PDA while being extremely obvious

8. Play with children's toys inside an ancient castle

9. Heil hitler in the Jewish quarter

10. Touch art that was poorly guarded/covered

I think I saw an Invisible man

My summer roomate just described as the deep country of Wales as the place a place where magic still lingers. It's not confined to wales--though it may contain a greater quantity--all of Europe bleeds with history. Every thing In sight teases with whispers of its history.


In the underground near Baker street shadows danced at the edge of sight and darkness itself was blacker. At night the Thames grew still and stars descended below the horizon.


Maybe I've gone crazy, but I prefer to believe that I've finally started paying attention. 


The magic world wouldn't be magic if it was easy to see, and maybe its only noticeable because I'm out of my comfort zone and if that's the case then I need to never be comfortable again. I understand why so many artist and writers went crazy became addicted to drugs or alcohol; inspiritlation comes from confusion all of literature all of everything comes from trying to understand.

Today, I saw magic--three days ago it takes a while for me to post stuff--the U-bahn doors opened, a crowd entered, took their seats or handholds, the train left the station. It took me a few seconds to notice one of the handholds moving the opposite of the rocking train. Focussing on this hipster of a plastic strap used for stability--do they have names?--I noticed it was pulled taut and bent as if held. for three stops this strap continued to defy physics and rock along opposite of mere gravity, then the doors opened the strap fell limp, people left the train, and the train left the station. 

Three thoughts passed through my head; Where was HG Wells's book set? Should I follow this guy? How do you follow an invisible man?

I am now on the lookout for magic, but unfortunately I think thats when you see the least.

Reasons Im a vampire, or soon will be

This is a scientific look at the reality that vampires are redheads and visa-versa.

Lets look at the facts,

1. Redheads Have Higher Pain Threshold  
2. Men and women with naturally red hair can withstand 25 percent more electric shock than non-redheads
3. A 2002 study found that redhead are harder to sedate than any other people requiring twenty percent more anesthesia     
4. Redheads don't turn grey. Red hair turned sandy, then white. They are also found to loose their color later in life than people carrying other hair colors
5. Short temper and sexual fieriness are attributed to them.
6. The sun is their natural enemy

And of course lets not ignore or ancient greeks who believed when a redhead died they came back as vampires. Of course this means that whenever if ever Chuck Norris dies then the rest of the world is doomed. Vampire Chuck Norris will kill us all...

but if we dont turn into vampires these things above should still be pretty terrifying

Have I become cool while I wasn't looking?

I know the title seem strange to you but shut up whatever you're thinking is really rude!

Anyways I think maybe the three+ months of no blogging may be a testament to my newfound coolness, but i could be wrong about its very existence.

I think the problem with investigating my possible newfound coolness is the untrustworthy nature of all of my friends. Frienemies of course deny any proof of my self assured amazingness, others are unsure that there building up of my ego will be detrimental to their own health and hierarchy so the remain silent. those few with an extremely vested intrest (I share a brain with a people, and theres the girlfriend) will never deny my popular authority because it woud reflect badly on their own stature in this world.

So I can only conclude that if I am imagining this I am very good at imagining things. Being very good at imagining these things of course offers further proof to my newfound popularity... I think... the truth is I have strived so long to stay out of the "in" crowd that I do not really understand what it means to be 'in"

Elementary, Highschool (middle dosent matter) I was just there known by most not by all, I wasn't in a group had no clique I was just there. Now however I think that I am in a crowd that may be popular.

The thing is I haven't changed Im just idk here going through life compleatly blind groaping in the darkness wondering how i look to everyone else.

so thats my random musings for the day Happy Birthday to me!

Really?

I recently had a conversation that lasted way too long and was not at an appropriate level of consciousness, but really cleared up some things. I want you to right now think of the group of people you hang out with the most. Think of the ones that if you lost contact with permanently today, it would kill you. Got it? Okay now think of the most fun you have ever had with any of these people...

Right now I'd be willing to bet big money that the size of the group you are thinking of is 8 or below. There is a reason sitcoms have 4, 5, and 6 main characters. Everyone is closer in small groups. This may be cynical but who really cares. In writing you cant have more than 8 characters to a novel, unless most of the book is spent developing the relationships. In life it's the same way, the less people the more interconnectivity. 

Thank God for Good Directions

So today was all kinds of strange, but thank God for awesome people at wrk I think I had a panic attack. I have nothing to compare it too so Idk. I didn't hyperventilate or anything just suddenly had no control over where my mind was going or what I was on doing someone just switched on the auto pilot and My brain started running laps, I couldn't focus on anything it was terrible. But then Kia my favorite person at work came in and gave me a big hug like always and for a minute everything was back to normal.

that wasn't originally part of this post but I felt like I had to add it 

Now the title is not only my favorite square dancing song but its also a prayer of thanksgiving. Every major  decision in life God has been there to show me the way.

But I've been flying a lot blinder than usual (twenty points if you can cite that reference) and really need some direction. I've got a few major decisions that I have to make fairly soon and I'm praying God points the way. But I thought hey I could get others to pray too!

I need to know, among other things, If I should study abroad, If I should get a motorcycle, If I should stay in OKC over the summer, etc

So If you need direction, comment below and I'll pray for yours if you pray for mine!

Trying to remain chill in the midst of Insanity

Monday-rains pours/2 while 1 (This is in not so subtle code)

Tuesday-computer broke, day one of my new talon job takes a significant amount of time but ended up being really fun.

Wednesday-Talon office from 8:00pm to 3:30am with a 9:30 class the next day (I hadn't done any homework) Also found out that the class I carefully planned ride home for was a week earlier than expected.


Thursday-Got picked up by my brother and went to half a bachelor party in order to get a ride home to L-town.

Friday-Very near fatal car wreck on the way to a motorcycle safety training class, Missed a football game that a very old friend from germany was in town for

Saturday-I am not good at very good at riding (I don't understand the clutch) I had to attend the wedding related to the bachelor party on Thursday (I didn't pack for this clothes did not fit), ran into another fairly old friend that I hadn't spoken to in several months.

Sunday-I apparently can ride, I passed the test only to find out my family was hoping that I wouldn't... Return to OC (with lots of homework still to do)


Monday-View 63 has a thoroughly enjoyable night beating out all of last year easily. Our suite-mates fake rob us to teach us to lock our doors.

Tuesday-Get my computer back with all my settings wiped, random dramatic things (more subtle code)


This has been my life recently lets see what tomorrow brings, also comment if you want me to blog about anything specific.

Animorphs

This was almost a blog about all the books I put on my short list but this series of books stood out as something that had to be explained, and deserved an entire blog.

I was reading on a 1st grade level before I was old enough to go to school. My older brother decided that I should learn to read as soon as I could talk. Because of this I pretty much skipped the young adult fiction stage. I never read the popular books during the time they were popular with my. friends. Yet this series I devoured. Even though I quickly outgrew them I read everything written up until two years ago!



Above was a list of all the subplots, but it started to get too long and sound retarded so ill explain them differently.

Five teenagers find themselves accidentally on the front lines of a very tilted battle for the whole of humanity. their enemy is a clandestine force that has infiltrated every level of government/society and every country the world over. The series has 54 books with a continuous storyline and 10 companion novels. By the end if the series these now adults have changed so much that they no longer have a place in the world they are saving. The end result was so dramatic and so drastically game changing that the author could not top it so she went insane NOT JOKING, and MORE PROOF.

My favorite Character

Rachel- How a powerful female character is supposed to be done. Not the main character but unashamedly the most Bad-A.

Favorite Event


They create a Ghost myth about a local island by imprisoning someone the tried to turn into a new partner.

The best part about these books is that they are literally two hour reads.  You could finish the series in a couple of weeks. That or the miniature flip book along the bottom of each book.


However the phrase you cant judge a book by its cover, is proved by these;

Disclaimer: these books are a sci-fiction about aliens and morphing technology. This includes space flight, time travel, ray guns, and the ocasional pacifistic android. 

TV the Short list

Due to some discussion on the top five picks in TV I will start with the shows.

Firefly, first of all if you havent seen this its understandable there were only fourteen episodes filmed. Second of all every producer at fox needs to die because there were only fourteen of these filmed. DVD sales and movie tickets to the compilation movie that finished the series. made more money than it cost to film all of them. There are more fans of this show/movie than almost anything. This is because one episode or even just watching part of the movie gets everyone addicted the show is pure genius. No spoilers because I will not ruin it for you WATCH IT HERE!

Game of Thrones, As for HBO and such shows (the ones that can show skin and drop F-bombs) nothing compares to the fantasy period piece Game of Thrones. The show is a hardcore magic, dragon, elves (I think), incest, intrigue Fantasy. That takes the entire first season before you realize how strange it is. The character development and billions of subplots make every episode a mini-movie and the actors are so good you don't know who to root for.

Cougar Town, Ignore the name! because the creators do this show is friends, only in our time period and located in any-town USA. Plus the age range is made so that college freshmen through middle aged people have someone to connect with. The reoccurring jokes and powerful chemistry makes you believe that these people are best friends in real life and the show is just filmed without them knowing! If you havent watched Please Please do you will not be able to stop laughing. WATCH IT HERE!

Futurama, Another comedy and a cartoon? yes but this show may be the smartest on the list. Made by, and im not kidding, a mathematician, scientists, and then comedy writers. So yeah smart. For those of you that watch big bang theory for numor (nerd humor) thats kid stuff Futurama has made two separate languages on of which is a cipher. the include mathematical jokes that the people from xkcd would be hard pressed to get, and in a recent episode they published a brand new mathematical theorem. plus it is a perfect parody of the future, the ultimate picture of our failing reality, all in a comedy that will keep you rolling.

House/NCIS they are the same, yes one is a medical version of sherlock holmes and one is the cop version of friends but both are relationship focused dramas that do not ignore their genre.  The medical mysteries and disease ridden filler characters are there to push the story along but fans keep coming back for the relationships our favorite characters keep screwing up. Ziva and Tony? Cuddy & Greg? Gibbs Abbey THIRTEEN?

Can't argue with math

So There it is the top five TV shows Ever! In my not so humble opinion. 

What should I cover next? comment below

The Short List

People always seem to ask whats your favorite ________, Its a conversation starter. It can tell you a lot about a person. However I find myself never fully prepared to answer. I have favorites don't get me wrong but they say different things about me and I want different people to have different first impressions. because of this I have compiled a short list of my favorite ______'s.

Movies

1 Memento

2 Donnie Darko

3 Prestige

4 Peter Pan (live action 2008)

5 The Holy Grail (monty python)

Books

1 Fahrenheit 451

2 Adam

3 State of Fear

4 Candor

5 Animorphs

TV shows

1 Firefly

2 Game of thrones

3 Cougar town

4 Futurama

5 NCIS/House

OTHER

1 Final Fantasy 7

2 Think-Write

3 Cracked/Wired

4 Cardiff, Whales

and now your thinking Joel that gives us nothing at all yeah we now have lots of things to check out if we havent seen, read, or watched these yet;  but you need to explain yourself. 

Well stupid reader who I am thinking for, I will explain myself but not right now I will however every day this week cover one section or one item and why its so bloody awesome. 

For now i'll leave you with an ultimatum get ahold of these quick all subsequent blogs will contain spoilers

Remember Your Mortality.

I have been absent for a few weeks. For some reason the extreme amount of time that I have no drive to write. It may be the absence of a hipster atmosphere that exists on a college campus or my general dislike of my life in lawton but whatever the reason im writing again.

I just gave myself a deadline by telling one of the few pople who i know will not stop bothering me until I meet it that I would send her a new draft of something.

Oh and the title well that would be the literal translation of the phrase Memento Mori. This phrase is the title of the story written by my new favorite writer Jonathan Nolan (es everyones favorite director has an equally talented brother). Though I am late at finding this story and the film that goes with it I believe it is a new muse along with my other favorite movies and books that have inspired me

So to close here is a list of Movies TV and Books that made me want to write

The Once and Future King
Peter Pan (2003 live action version)
Fahrenheit 451
THR3E
The Prestige
Stranger Than Fiction
FLASHFORWARD
Dead poet Society
Memento
Memento Mori

CAUTION: read and watch at your own risk, side effects include: obsessive story telling, inability to enjoy meaningless television (and most sports), desire to pursue liberal arts degree, constant disappointment from new books and movies, and the wish to ignore all human contact to finish a pointless story that means everything to you

New Ideas/I love the 90's

In recent years we have seen a few prominent children's cartoons and TV shows into full length blockbuster movies. I think it is high time we see some legit 90's cartoons make it to the silver screen. Here are my three Ideas.


We've seen giant fighting robots done well, so why not giant robots with teenagers inside fighting for the space colonies revolution. If you don't know what I am talking about then you apparently missed the greatest children's cartoon ever made (yeah I said it). This show had the one thing almost all cartoons now are missing and most at that time, STORY.


This movie could easily be a two part series split up the same way the cartoon series is when you buy it on dvd, still nothing?


Gundam Wing!


If you have seen Iron man or avatar you know mechanized suits can be made realistic and this story is already perfect for a movie WHY ARENT PEOPLE MAKING THIS??

No. 2 

They did a G.I. Joe movie that totally tanked but it did show everyone that kids shows can become big screen movies believably this idea is a little more far fetched but let me explain the idea before I reveal the show. 

 Five young adults living in a large city in southern california have virtually no connection except for the fact that three of them attend the same college and they have all taken some martial arts training. Over a few days they connect and become a strange group of friends when the end up stumbling on some major corporate espionage and a possible government cover up. They meet a man who tells them that their lives are in danger and he can help he provides them with experimental nano suit technology that heightens their reflexes and makes them more powerful they go on to find out the technology is alien as is the woman in charge of the company that is now after them and their mysterious helper. One of the corporations soldiers comes to their side and gets his own special suit. they destroy the company and when they confront the woman she says someone more powerful then her is still on the way. (leading to another movie)


Ok sounds doable right? well now i'll tell you the deal breaker what if it's... Power Rangers. No don't laugh look at this

 So you can totally make this believable you just don't play on the color thing get some great writers, make it a detective story and age everyone a little differently.


And last but not least I can already see this preview

     A mom and two kids are packing a van. There is a fifteen-year-old boy and six-year-old girl playing with a doll (quick people will recognize this doll ). The mother is consoling her children about having to move saying “we will live next to your uncle and he has a boy your age” To her angry son shoving boxes into the trunk.

      Then cut to the boy being attacked by some strange looking dog in tall grass where a random string of fire scares it away. He looks up at a much older man holding what looks like a red ball.

      Then epic music starts playing as it cuts to the boy putting on the signature ball cap, the backpack, and picking up a poké-ball.

      Toss in action shots of poké-battles and you wouldn't even have to hint at any story line just finish with an “I chose you!” or a shot of Mew.


Now don't lie you would watch at least one of these movies some would be there opening night all three. 

Ok Characterization Map of the still unnamed lead in my epic

Looking at this tell me what name comes to mind,
Please....