2nd post tonight, or, do you ever sit back and wonder?

I have recently stood back from my current life and realized how amazing it really is by comparing it to how I wanted my life to be at each major developmental point in my childhood. So if you want to lets take a look at How I expected to be living.

Kindergarden-6th grade

Really who knew? I had a great group of friends that im still in relatively good contact with that we all just knew we were gonna grow old together. Josh, Kelby, Kelsea, Grayson, Jonathan these five people (and me) were inseparable, Now we had a few others that joined in and then fell away some great people who i love and still can't remember without feeling incredibly nostalgic. But it was us six that stuck through all of our days at FlowerMound elementary.

At this time in my life I didn't think about College but I knew all my friends were coming to the same Junior High (it wasn't middle school yet) and the same High School and thats all I cared about. Man I am almost being drawn to tears with all the great memories of those days I miss you people.

I think if I had to pick a career I would have said a Scientist or explorer, but definitely something to do with hands on in the field science without a doubt.

7th & 8th Grade

MacArthur middle School I remember the first day all my friends from church and school were both in one place. At lunch I was the first one in line out of everyone I knew (my class was right next to the caf) I was really exited about this until I realized I had nowhere to sit all my friends where still in line! So I did the awkward sit-by-myself-try-to-look-okay-with-it thing and much to my relief one-by-one all my Elementary school friends and all my Church friends came to the table they all fit in perfectly. Thus I Added James, and Kyle, Courtney, and Hannah to my group that was always together. These four have stuck with me a lil longer as in I still txt all of them off and on and when any of us are in L-Town we are together.

Here I had decided I was gonna follow all my siblings into Cameron University and Go to OU after getting my basics done.

I think I wanted to be an archeologist at this point. I loved History and knew that I would be constantly on the move, Reading books like Timeline, and Frank Peretti's Cooper Kids adventure series. Helped shape that into A desire to be a biblical Archeologist. I think it was here my first thought about writing came into play because after every book I would change what I wanted to be. And my brother Told me that I should just be them all.

High School

These were the days If I take the time to add all the friends I made and kept throughout These Four years this blog would be four years long. But I will say for the first time I really interacted with the older and younger age students I dated a senior as a Junior (went to prom twice not bragging (just learned how to do small txt)) and made really close friend with the underclassmen as I became a Junior and Senior. I can't Mention HighSchool Without saying these Names and If you know who they are YaY for you. Caitlin, Jessica, Jessie, Morgan, Xavier, and so many more you know who you are LunchtimeFriends.

At this point I knew that I wanted to get out of Lawton but still didn't see it as a possibility, Cameron was looming closer and closer especially as I began to take concurrent classes there I was terrified I would be stuck. But that terror finally forced me out I got scholarships, but it wasn't until almost middle of senior summer that I decided To come Here.

I Knew in Highschool that I wanted to be a writer. The older I got the more I realized that writing wasn't the greatest career choice and that I wouldn't get to travel. So as I began to search for a major or at least a field Journalism Just hit me and I haven't Looked Back YET! 

So as I sit here pursuing a degree In Print Journalism, at Oklahoma Christian University, with an entirely new group of friends, in a city I had never thought about living in, dating a girl I never dreamed was in my league (sorry cheesy), And just living a life I hadn't Planned I have To say Thank you God for not letting my plans work out.

If I had it my way my life would suck, Your plan was better from the beginning and still is. Help me to stop trying to plan out my future and let me follow your path. 

Thanx for making it all the way through I hope that in four or five years I will be able to add you to this list under the heading College and some of you I hope I can continue to add for the rest of my life!

--Joel

Can you see what I see?

I have an interesting way of viewing the world. I either see the best or worst in every situation.

There is no middle ground.

I either go for the best possible outcome, as in unbelievably perfect like fairy tale insanity that never happens; or I see the worst-case-scenario as in events that would make need to scoop up your heart from the floor and clean up the mess from your bloody demise horrible.

This is probably very wrong way of looking at the world. but I do understand why. (yes im going to explain something about myself).

As a writer, a creative person. I see the world as a story, as a tale that is continuas. I really want the story to continue, I want there to be powerful ups and downs, I want plot twists and strife. I just don't know why.

I constantly complain about the fact that my life is too much like a sitcom or movie. So why would I want to add to the horribleness of a life that follows the plot of Friends, Community, How I Met Your Mother, or most similarly Buffy.

I mean I obviously don't enjoy the insanity. This show is technically a comedy but only the audience that    enjoys watching others pain.

So Why.....

Anybody have an idea as to how to see the world more normally?

And sorry for the lack of specifics I had a few stories, one from work tonight, that I almost wrote but this blog isn't really for you readers i Just felt like writing. So can you see what I see or rater how i See?

I really shouldn't be writing this

Today I woke up to find, My favorite weather. For those of you in close proximity who know that it is a gloomy, overcast, rainy, chilly, windy, dismal day ad are wondering what is wrong with me, let me explain. (Jenny dont have a heart attack over the incorrect use of punctuation in that sentence)

I love this weather. It smells like fresh fallen rain. Its cold but not too cold to go barefoot. There are clouds so low to the ground you are walking through them. Its the weather that just overflows with excitement somethings about to happen. Something is on the wind.

But what exactly is coming?

Well... my Mom, Aunt, and Little brother are coming this weekend YAY with a much needed cable cord and a very appreciated work of art. And Spring Break is coming up mighty fast, unfortunately I still do not have definite plans.

I really shouldn't be writing this because I could very easily be finding something more productive to be doing but its creative weather!

And so I leave you with some careful musings of a cynical comic.

3:15-10:20

This seems like a long time but it apparently isn't I feel so sickly today...
I kept expecting my roommate to get up and start getting ready but he didn't either. I have the suspicion someone may have pumped some kind of gas into our room last night to make us useless today. But the jokes on them cause I was planning on being useless today anyways!!

this blog is part of my uselessness im sitting in class right now and writing this when everyone around me is taking notes that i will end up studying for the next test. I think im a mooch?

I really feel like writing today, Im feeling strangely creative. I think its this book im reading for my new testament class called EPIC (yes its in all caps like all the really trippy tv shows LOST FLASHFORWARD, HEROES) but this book is all about how our lives our universe is all a grand play, a powerful story. And it goes on to say that the reason every story we here has the things it does ie; a hero, a villain, a love story, a fight/conflict, and a once upon a time etc. is because The Story that they are all a Platonic shadow on the cave wall of has all these things in it.

The really fun thing about this book is the use of massive amount of pop-culture he throws in there to give examples we are used to, and I get all of them.

Ok here we go with photos that mean things

Is there ever really anything not MEH on Facebook?

I really do want to create something that lasts I wanna write a story that impacts people.

Literally only one stumble!

I Don't say if I say When

Despite the awkwardness of the title of this blog in context, it is an almost profound statement. Saying that if dosen't float in your vocabulary is powerful it means you don't ever give credence to the unknown. You know that there is a way things are ment to work a path that is supposed to be taken and if has no place on it.

I really like that confidence and you can use it in almost everything. Not if I get that Job but WHEN...

This may seem to be a powerfully optimistic viewpoint from a self proclaimed cynic but I have maybe for the first time correctly re-defined myself.

I recognize the way the world is and see the good and bad in it (granted most of it is still bad cause of sin) but I'm not exactly cynical, I follow that prayer of serenity

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

I understand that things suck but there is very little to nothing that I can do about a lot of it so there is no use worrying or obsessing over them. My roommate and Lane (I was gonna just use Mexican but that sounded racists) find problems with this, they dont like recognizing the fact that everyone is related, while I see it as theres no point being disturbed by it when thats reality. 

This blog has been strangely deep considering the day and conversations surrounding the title! so I will leave you with Three things

1. This amazing song That Jenny put on CD for me and has been making rounds in my head ever since its such a good song I LOVE IT, but the video is kinda creepy so just listen

2. this photo of a shirt I really really want SPOILER ALERT

3. And the knowledge that my next post will most likely be much more better (in terms of humor vs profound musings)

Really?

Bad days are like magnets for annoying people and angering events, they seem to be drawn to the general lousiness of the 24 hour period.

Really why do people Ugh never mind

I had tons of great stumble upon musings to post in this epically blank writing area, but once again and in increasing quantity things have come up...

last three days sleeping has become difficult without reason, literally waking up five or six throughout the night with no external interaction. Somehow I went for almost six hours without noticing that I was only wearing one contact. I've suddenly wanted almost no contact with people. My generally happy-despite cynicism-personality has been incredibly dark lately. I have in an overused retarded cliche NOT MYSELF.

But I have no answer as to why

I believe something is going on in my life that will have some huge impact but when I say I have no clue as to what. I honestly have NO CLUE. I don't even have a category for a clue.

I really want to know whats going on in my life so im gonna spend the vast majority of my day alone, and having no communication with the world. As soon as this next class is im blasting my ipod turning off phone and Facebook and ...?...?...?...

So see you all tomorrow when I'm hopefully well rested and much more like me but I have the strangest feeling that this will not come to a resolution on a tuesday nothing ever does heres to wednesday hopefully of this week!

Twister, Talon, & Treacherous Torpor

Not this one

This One!

This is one of my favorite movies I've seen it once a year since it was released, and almost always (accidental alliteration) on VHS tape--the way it was ment to be seen. I wanted Jo's truck before I ever even thought about driving. Jo was probably my first crush. This movie is way to significant in my past cannot wait for tornado season when I get to see how scared my non-oklahoman friends are, while we run outside with cameras! 

things that came from the most recent viewing (including quite a few actual quotes)

• "He was without apparel"
• I just wanted to use the words
• "Who are these people?"
•  BEST ROAD TRIP IDEA (look for an itinerary soon)

Not this one, although I wish
and I do enjoy the sign and its appropriate-ness for this blog

This one! which I write for

But because of snow days the article I wrote last week was not published in a print edition which is unfortunate because no one reads it online and it was a great story! check it out __By Clicking Here__

Torpor=apathy the snow has made me slow, really slow, three days of and I haven't even blogged!

I really need to write creatively but I just haven't, curse you StumbleUpon, Hulu, and Facebook I  shall shun you all monday in effort to complete something...anything!

but here are my top stumbles of the last few days